The Diva wants to help me with my blog today. So she is sitting next to me. Here is something she dictated, ordering me to write: "My sister, The Diva, is the baddest balla in Kansas City." So there you go. She is the baddest balla. True dat. Double true.
The Wordsmith's bestie, who we will call BP for Bottomless Pit* because of her eating habits, just got back from vacation in D.C. She gave The Wordsmith a voodoo doll, which necessarily delighted her. My only concern is who she will use as the object of her punishment.
There is a bat in my bathroom. I actually discovered this about 36 hours ago, but haven't said anything to you guys or anyone else. Which is surprising because normally I'd update my facebook and Twitter saying, "OH MY EFFING GEE THERE IS A BAT IN MY BATHROOM LYKE RIGHT NOW!" Or something along those lines. Whateva.
Heh heh, The Diva suggests that the fact that there is a bat in my bathroom drives me bat-shit insane.
I'm going to post some pictures of my kitty, Maud. Because I wuv her and she is my baby angel.The Diva wants all of you to know that Maud is actually very cruel and evil and currently is plotting the demise of the entire world.
But of course that is a load of Banana Split.** Maud is not evil. See the love in her eyes? She is just a happy cat. *blissfully ignorant smile*
On the other hand, my cat Sophie is FREAKING INSANE. She has a really high pitched meow, but teeth of RAZOR sharpness. And her claws have poison in them. I mean, I love her but she is crazy.
The Diva just went upstairs with the express purpose of taking this picture. She is super pleased with it. Like, super pleased. She can't stop giggling. *looks at picture* It is rather funny!
Since I've been vaguely referencing it for several days, I shall now tell you the story of when we went to dinner in Minnesota. Please, contain your excitement.
Instead of boring you with the details of the excessive four glasses of lemonade that The Diva drank, or how my mom smeared her front teeth with an Andes chocolate mint and grinned stupidly at us, or even how every time we guffawed drunkenly (without any of us actually being drunk) the rest of the dining room got really quiet-- instead of telling you all of that, I will tell you about blowtorches.
After consuming our entres, we ordered three desserts: a deliciously gooey cinnamon chocolate brownie, a turtle sunday, and creme brulé. Unfortunately, the creme brulé was a disappointment. As we are wont to do, we started talking about how we could make it ourselves.
"Of course, we'll need a blowtorch," my mom informs us.
"Yes," the Wordsmith began smiling insanely, "and it will have... other uses as well."
Sometimes that child really scares me. Mostly she just affords me with endless amounts of entertainment, though.
And here the blog ends. Tell me, dear readers, if you want me to post pictures from when we went swimming in the really cold Lake Superior.
After consuming our entres, we ordered three desserts: a deliciously gooey cinnamon chocolate brownie, a turtle sunday, and creme brulé. Unfortunately, the creme brulé was a disappointment. As we are wont to do, we started talking about how we could make it ourselves.
"Of course, we'll need a blowtorch," my mom informs us.
"Yes," the Wordsmith began smiling insanely, "and it will have... other uses as well."
Sometimes that child really scares me. Mostly she just affords me with endless amounts of entertainment, though.
And here the blog ends. Tell me, dear readers, if you want me to post pictures from when we went swimming in the really cold Lake Superior.
With many cat scratches,
Maggie
Something I learned today: I think I am going to switch from regular US Gov to AP US Gov. I looked up the summer assignment for the class, and I learned that if I were to switch I'd have to do a ton of work really quickly. But I think it'd be worth it. What have you learned today?
Maggie
Something I learned today: I think I am going to switch from regular US Gov to AP US Gov. I looked up the summer assignment for the class, and I learned that if I were to switch I'd have to do a ton of work really quickly. But I think it'd be worth it. What have you learned today?
*BP is also coincidentally the initialism for British Petroleum, as I'm sure none of you knew. Good thing you have me to tell you these things.
**Or Baloney Sandwich. Or Britney Spears. Whatever floats your boat.
Everyone needs a blowtorch. Duh. xP
ReplyDeleteI kind of want to hang out with your family, because you make them sound s hilarious.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE BAT?
ReplyDeleteFACT: I knew about British Petroleum.
ReplyDeleteQUESTION: Wait so what about the second bat?